An Unknown Beginning
by Mcswarek014
Summary: Sam's thoughts during "Fresh Paint", the very first episode of Rookie Blue.


A/N This is my first time writing fanfiction, as opposed to just reading it. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer; Rookie Blue is not mine it belongs to Global TV and abc, I'm just using the characters and adding to the story a bit.

Sam was sitting in a crummy apartment with his guy, the biggest mouth on the street, trying to get a little new information out of him and wondering how much longer he'd have to stay under before he caught a big enough break to nail all of them, especially Anton Hill. He had most of the operation figured out, but Anton had his fingers in a lot of pies, drugs, prostitution, fraud, and money laundering to turn all the dirty money clean, Sam know about pieces of all of that, but it wasn't enough, wasn't connected yet. Anton's Accountant, Emily, had been helping his case as a CI but they hadn't caught a break yet.

There wasn't any hard evidence,only links he'd connected in his head. He needed information on when Anton was going to make a big move, a drug shipment, acquiring new girls, anything big so then all the key players would be there and then he could tell his handler to get 15 division on it so they could move in and make the arrests, search theirs houses and workplaces, then put them away for good, where they couldn't hurt anyone again. That was the plan anyway, but so far it had been coming together very slowly.

Eights months was a long time to be undercover, living in a hole even worse than the one he was hanging out in now and he was feeling it. He hadn't seen Jerry or Oliver in all that time. No evenings at the Penny unwinding from a long day out on the streets keeping the peace or poker nights with them and Frank where Sam, most of the time, took everyone's money. Those were his guys, his brothers, they'd been together since the academy. Sure there were girls in the picture, Oliver was married with three of his own, Jerry was married although at the time Sam went under they'd been getting rocky, Frank was on his second marriage. Sam had had girlfriends on and off but he never felt a connection with any of them strong enough for him to consider making a commitment or giving up his under cover work. He was good at it, and he figured he was okay alone, let other guys, like his buddies settle down, and he'd keep doing what he was doing. Getting bad guys off the streets. His last girlfriend, Monica, was fine, nice, but he wasn't dying to finish the op so he could reconnect with her or anything. No promises had been make that they'd reconnect when he got back. At this point though girls were the last thing on Sam's mind, and yeah he missed his friends and his place and his truck but his focus was on the job. Anton Hill was a big fish, almost an octopus of crime, with everything he was into, it'd be a win to put him behind bars.

As focused as Sam was life undercover wasn't easy, he was used it though, this wasn't his first go around by any means. Between cultivating informants, continuing to meet up with them and see what they know, finding where Anton sold and keep his drugs or girls, and directly connecting those places to the people responsible Sam still had quite a bit of free time. Since his thoughts didn't cut it, he listened to books, Moby Dick was a real thriller, did puzzles, watered his plant, and traveled to a different section of town when he wanted to work out or get something to eat that wasn't barely recognizable as food.

In the last few months his guy had finally started to really talk to him, which make Sam think if things keep up like this he could be out in four weeks, six tops. Which is why he was at his guys apartment listening to him ramble hoping something useful would come out, a name that will lead to a place, anything to connect the dots a little more.

At that moment he heard a couple gun shots from a lower floor of the apartment building. Cop instinct kicked in and he looked out the window to see if anyone fled the scene, sure enough he saw two kids climbing down the fire escape and then they ran down the street; one of them, looked to be around fifteen. Sam noticed an orange T-shirt before the kid ran into an abandoned building down the street. He couldn't see where the other one went. Now Sam knew he had to keep alert, but not act like it, they'd had several OD's in the last few weeks but shots fired brought more cops than someone with a needle in their arm. Keeping his eyes and ears open Sam stayed in character with his guy and waited for the cops to show up.

He heard them banging on the door next to his and then he heard a voice outside his own. The phase "Police, open up!" wasn't as confident as it could have been and sounded a little forced, like the female issuing the order wasn't sure she qualified as "Police". Sam's gut told this could get ugly but he keep his cool, when she burst in something told Sam he'd seen her before but in the next moment all he saw was her shaky hold on the gun now pointed at him and his guy and he wondered how he could convince this newbie to leave him be. Since he could see she was nervous he figured she wouldn't shoot and decided to clear out dragging his guy with him after he didn't follow right after him.

He was pretty sure they were clear, they'd made it down the block and around the corner to an alley between a fence and another brick apartment building, when she came around the corner in pursuit of them. _Well, at least she doesn't give up, should make for a good cop_ , he thought even as she told them to put their hands up on the fence and he ran.

She chased him and tackled him, _Ouch, her technique could use some work, maybe if she just. ._ He had no idea where that thought came from he was undercover, he didn't want to train this rookie, any rookie really.

Now he was getting pissed "I'm on the job," he told her as she patted him down but she didn't get it and he realized there was a very good chance his cover would get blown today.

Oliver almost did a double take when he saw in the rear-view mirror of the quad car, but he kept quiet like Sam knew he would. With Oliver to have his back Sam felt a little better, now there was a chance he'd make it through the day with his cover in tact. _No wonder she was be herself_ was he thought when he found out the rookie had forgotten to turn on her radio that morning which only added to Sam's great mood, if Oliver had heard from her earlier he wouldn't be in this position now.

Also Oliver referred to this rookie as McNally which stirred up memories for Sam. He guessed he could have seen it on her name tag but he was to busy trying to get away from her to pay attention to it. Now, that name brought to his mind the image of one of his and Oliver's training officers, one Tommy McNally who turned detective not too long after they were cut loose. If Sam remembered right he'd retired a couple years back, but he'd been undercover then too and only heard about the party from his friends. As he thought about it he remembered seeing a picture on Tommy's desk of him with a teenaged girl, both wearing jerseys .probably taken after they went to a sports game of some kind.

 _No_ Sam thought to himself on the ride to the station. _This couldn't be Tommy's kid. Could it?_ With his guy still in the car Sam couldn't ask so he just kept up his drug guy act and mulled it over. _Maybe . . ? Don't think about this now. Focus, Sam,_ he scolded himself. _It doesn't matter who she may or may not be related to, she still probably got your cover blown to day, so think about that. Salvage the op, get back out there so you can put Anton Hill away._

Oliver walked him in and when he heard Oliver's plan Sam thought maybe there was a chance this would work out. Then Jerry walked in with another cop Sam had never seen before and it all blew up like he knew it would. Jerry didn't wait one second to check the situation, he just embraced Sam like the long gone friend he was, until he noticed the handcuffs.

* * *

In Boyko's office Sam knew in the back of his mind it was Jerry's fault for his cover being blown, but if that rookie, McNally, hadn't chased him and brought him in in the first place none of this would have happened. Now the whole thing was a bust, eight months of his life pretending to be someone else, down the drain, and he'd been getting so close, he could feel it. Just a little more time, a few more pieces and then he'd get them, the whole bunch would have gotten put away. Which would make a bunch of people a whole lot safer, including Emily. And now it was just over, so Sam let McNally have it, right there in the office in front of both their boss.

His op was over and he was over the whole thing, not really, but he figured the only productive thing he could do now was get a hot shower and sleep in his own bed that night for the first time in eight months before getting back in uniform and on the streets as a beat cop as soon as possible. So he stormed out of the office to the locker room to get step one of his plan underway.

His place undercover had water of course, sometimes, and not always hot, most of the time just a trickle. If he hadn't been playing an uncaring drug addict he would have fixed the plumbing himself, but as it was he couldn't have anyone noticing that he was aware of his surroundings, or cared about his personal hygiene. Therefore he was very much looking forward to his first real, hot, full pressure shower in eight months.

However before he could even think about his shower he had to get the rage out of his system for having his op blown. Didn't matter really who's fault is was it still happened and now he had nothing to show for it. Yelling at the rookie hadn't really done it for him partly cause he had to half keep the lid on it in front of his boss, but now alone in the locker room he took his frustration out by kicking his locker repeatedly. He would have punched it too, but even in his enraged state he knew that would only hurt his hands.

Unleashing his anger was going just fine until the rookie who'd ruined his day came bursting into the guy's locker room looking for answers.

"Is that working for you, huh? All the slamming and banging. I mean I get your point!" She fired off. _Do you now? Ever blow eight months of your life for nothing?_ he mentally retorted. But he did pause because she had some guts coming in here to question him when she must know how upset he is.

"What are you doing in here?" He knew she must have a reason for coming into the guys locker room besides yelling at him and he maybe half cared to hear it.

"I'm being persistent," _Maybe_ he thought as he started to open his locker. She'd interrupted his venting no reason to let her derail his shower plan too. "You know, I have nothing else going for me today. So you know, when in doubt. . "

"I don't like girl guides." _I'm not going to make this any easier for her just cause she's new, my first day I didn't arrest an undercover cop from my own division._

"And I don't like being racked over coals for not knowing the secret hand-shake. You know, console yourself I'll probably be fired. But you know what? There's still a dead guy lying in that house, oh and there's another guy running around free and clear with a gun. So whenever you feel like this is out of your system, maybe you'd care to act like a cop for five minutes?" _And there's her point, the dead guy from the gun shots. Why's she acting like someone killed her dog. She didn't just have one of the biggest ops of her career go down the drain._

"You've only been a cop for five minutes." he told her in reply. Her unjustified attitude might have upset him more at another time, but right now it kind of amused him. She thought her random dead guy was more important than an eight month op.

"What do you know?" She asked, finally in a calmer tone.

"Wha'do you got?" Sam replied. _No harm in cooperating, she'll probably be out of here to chase whatever lead I give faster than if I try to kick her out._

"Victim's name in Mink Barker."

"Woo, Mink Barker. If it's Mink Barker, Happy Birthday. Big Surprise. King of bad dope. King of pain." He proceeded to strip off the black T-shift he had on over a long sleeve white one. "You got half the neighborhood who'd love to see the creep dead. Guy's a sleaze bag." As he threw the t-shirt into his locker. "Deals a ton of junk at street level, none of it's good."

"There's good junk?" _Newbie._

"Yea, there's heroine that hasn't been cut with rat poison, cut glass, other drugs, you name it." He replied, stating the facts and unintentionally giving a little drug lesson as he sat down on the bench to take off his shoes and socks. "We've had seven OD's in three weeks, it's all Barker's stuff. Now he's dead, karma's a bitch."

"Kay, so then what about the gunman? I mean apparently he came in with some other guy. You know, greasy black hair. That's why I thought it was you." _Well at least she had a reason._

"That's Mike Koalchuck, he's a weasel but he doesn't have a gun and he doesn't have the balls. And this is gel, by the way." M _ight as well give her something to get her out of here_. And Sam takes off his belt. "So uh, what about the kid in the orange t-shirt?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?" _Clearly. Kid_ _ran away before you got there which is why you're asking me in the first place, right?_ He answered her anyway.

"Heard the shots, looked out the window, saw a couple of kids taking off down the fire escape." _No point holding back now, hopefully this would get her out of his hair._ He continued getting ready for his shower by taking off the long sleeved T, leaving him bare chested. "One of them ran into an empty building, it's a good place to hide a gun."

"Okay, which empty building?" _Not phasing her, good to know she's focused. Maybe something else will do the trick._

"You know, the one right near where you tackled me, tried to kiss me?" If the mention of kissing wasn't enough to rile her he also stripped off his jeans as he said it, leaving him is only his boxers.

"Humph."

"Did you guys find the gun?" Silence. _If that's the only response I get from her maybe this is riling her up a little, not the main goal right now but always nice to know I could. Or she could just not have an answer, first day and all, it would have been Oliver's call to look for it, and will all the crazy of her bringing me in. Nevermind, gun, kid, shower, focus._ "Did you even look for a gun?" More pursed lips from the rookie.

"Well, if you saw the kid take off, why didn't you chase after him?" _Of course she thinks that'd be the obvious answer. Rookie._

"Lady, I was playing a drug addict. Couldn't go down and chase him without blowing my cover. Not like it matters now." _Just a few more weeks and I would have been out of there, only difference to now is the scumbags would have been put away and Emily would be free and clear of him. I gave her what she wanted, now to shower and go home._

"Do you mind?" He asked as he made a vague gesture between his boxers and the showers. The rookie left without another word, probably to look into the lead he so kindly gave her and Sam proceeded to the showers.

* * *

After he was dressed in clean clothes with all the gel finally out of his hair, Sam packed his bag and went to see Boyko before heading home. Just to see how soon he could get back on the job.

Boyko greeted Sam when he reached the door of his office.

"You cooled down Swarek? What did you want to see me about?"

"Well sir, since my covers been blown I doubt I can go under again any time soon so I was wondering if you'd have a spot for me on beat?" Sam got right to the point as he stood in front of his boss.

"Sure, sure. Actually I could use another training office for the five rookies we just got. You've at least seen them around today right? Besides the one that had a hand in blowing your cover of course."

"Definitely seen a bunch of new faces today. If that's the only way I'm getting back on the street, I'll take a rookie. Just don't give me one who's a suck up, okay? They need to be able to handle themselves." Sam wasn't looking forward to this, but since it seemed like he had to, he'd deal. "When can I start?"

"Well, Sam. Even though your cover got blown you were still under for eight months so debrief with your team, give them any info you haven't already so that maybe something could be worked out to still nail these guys. Then you know the drill; take a few days off, re-coop, unwind, whatever before you get cleared. I'll need, psych evaluation, physical, and your marks from the shooting range. Next rotation starts in eight days, I'll put you on it. Just get on those re-certs for me Swarek."

"No problem sir. Thank you." And with that Sam was out the door of the precinct not as thrilled as he could have been but alright. He'd have been better if he could be at work again in two days instead of eight and he'd be even better still if he was still undercover, closing in on putting Anton Hill and his crew behind bars. All things considered he was okay though. Tomorrow he could begin to figure out how to keep Emily safe from Anton and if anything could be salvaged from this op.

Right now he just wanted a cab so he could get home. His house was just a tad too far away from the precinct to walk and his truck was at his place.

After hailing a cab and making his way home to his quiet house, where everything worked and he didn't have junkies for neighbors; Sam considered the day he'd had. It had been different to say the least. That one rookie who'd totally messed up and knew it, but still came to him to get him to talk, was something else. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be the one to train her or not. Yea, he could see she had potential but was it enough to overcome their very bad first meeting and her over-eagerness in order to make for a successful working relationship. He wasn't sure. He also wasn't sure he wanted to think anymore about the possibility of her being his former mentor's kid. He'd just ask Oliver. At the Penny. Cause he would be going there tonight, since he was back and all and was allowed to do normal things, like have drinks with his friends again.

So that afternoon as Sam freshened up his place and went to the store for staple food items, waiting until his friends would be off work so he could meet them at The Black Penny, he didn't give much more thought to the rookie who'd added drama to his day. But as he was driving to The Penny that night the thought did pass through his head that today had been different, not better but different. And after years of the same friends and similar undercover OP's different wasn't really something Sam was used to. He couldn't quite decide if he liked it or not but it was there all the same. Different.


End file.
